“And as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Performance
Casey Gilfillan Do I shirk my conditioning, or yet embrace it?I want to be in the body, I needTo escape the mind. There can be no split,Blood must stay within skin.The shelf of doubt weighs above. I want to feel free; in the body, on the earth.Behind the veil of curtain, behindThe shadow of comfort,…
Keep readingBlight Exposure
Casey Gilfillan Flow of breath is snatched from the basket of my lungs as I step outdoors. The sun is bright, like an interrogating lamp positioned for maximum perspiration. I am a bug crawling under the belly of the sun, cursing the evil, stupid bugs who ate all the trees. There is nowhere to hide,…
Keep readingGive the World Back
Casey Gilfillan I stop about twenty feet away from a family making a picnic of leaves and shrubbery. The doe and two smaller deer trail slowly through the sparse brush, munching and then briefly pausing to whip their heads around every few seconds. They don’t see me at first; they don’t see me for a…
Keep readingBring the Bear
Casey Gilfillan In the corner just before the blades, whirringSwiftly and pushing against my advance.The resistance is nothing for fear; the bodyProceeds, the hair stands, the fabric materialOf my skirt threatens entrance into the beyond.Heels heed the warning, heart begs to take thePlunge. Where is he, the big man on payroll toKeep peace? He’s inebriated…
Keep readingSelf Inflicted
Casey G I dream, thrashing in the will of torment,For that stroke upon the flesh; kiss me withYour sharpest edge, and it will become true. Longing for the substance to propel, whereMight I find such a force bottled? Lead meThere, lest I leave a gash in its stead. Flooding forth with the vitality of self,Being…
Keep readingPredeterminism in Modern Spirituality
Casey G What does it mean to get a sign from the universe? For some, it is to have something overwhelmingly negative or fortunate occur to them in a context that might cause reflection on greater meaning and implication. Finding a $20 bill loosely on the ground, tripping and falling into traffic, seeing the same…
Keep readingUltraviolet
Casey Gilfillan The skin knows before the brain can process,The dry cast sticking upon me like aFast-acting leech as I take the first step.The sky smiles its daggering beams ofPoison that burrow and multiply. I feel the sandpaper kiss as it roastsThe barrier of flesh, my hands can’t moveQuickly enough to outwit the light thatConsumes.…
Keep readingMake Purpose, Not Wealth
Casey Gilfillan “‘In the long run, he’s committing suicide,’ said the driver. ‘Seems the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.” – Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions You might be like me if you hold the opinion that there is no objective purpose in life. There…
Keep readingComplaint Fatigue
Casey Gilfillan The landscape is both unwalkable and undrivable. Last weekend, they had a festival on my block and shut off both ends of the street until 10pm. On such occasions, the public lot where I park becomes even more popular than usual, so I attempt to avoid using my car after 9am. The last…
Keep readingBliss
Casey Gilfillan I slip into the day like a lapse in time. The sky is gray and blue and specific to no particular hour. The wind speaks in a rustling whisper through the leaves of the trees, quieting and then quickening without pattern. I hear the gentle hum of the brush through the blaring volume…
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Femme Fatalism 