Mat Gilson

When Trixie and Katya say that they love your ax wound, it’s satirical. This is common enough amongst gay men; “fishy” drag queens are so named for giving biological, smelly cunt, and passing as a beautiful woman. Somehow, this objectification, and the disgusting string of accusations against women’s anatomy, is softened by gay man’s lack of desire to actually fuck the women they belittle and objectify. “Ha ha I would never put my dick in that stinking thing!” they say, and we all laugh in relief to be in the company of men who, uniquely, have no interest in fucking us. 

I was curious, though, about the quote, and about vaginas being referenced as a wound so graphically. I tried to find the origin of the phrase, and I was disappointed to find that it was entirely rooted in straight male vernacular. This sucked any humor out of the phrase immediately. I discovered too that there is a pride in making the vagina puffier, redder,  specifically more wound-like. The word vagina itself is derived from the Greek word for “sheath.” Always implying penetration, and being penetrated by a sword leaves a wound. And this is the medical terminology that we have to work with- a sheath, which holds the sword and serves no other purpose, except potentially aesthetic- a pretty place to keep your dick. Always layered with mystery and euphemism, it seems that vaginas are understood not to be a thing, but the absence of a thing; Vaginas are understood by men as wounds. 

This was solidified in the medical establishment by Freud. He claimed that men instinctively felt the fear of castration upon seeing a woman’s lack of penis. He posited that women, too, feel this absence, and are forever psychologically affected by this lack once it is made clear to them. Whether something is better than nothing is arguable in this case; to be inherently wounded, or to be without the “sword” to wound with are the options that have been made available to women.

From the moment I became conscious of myself in relation to other people, I have known that every single man that I have ever met has evaluated me in terms of his desire. Whether it be older men deciding that I was too young, at one time, to be considered, or men now that I interact with professionally, altering themselves in subtle ways. Male desire, from my perspective and view of the world, is based in conquest, having, and power. Phrases like “ax wound” is just one of hundreds of harmful and dangerous ways to dehumanize women from the sex organs out. Seeing the vagina as a wound leads men to consider women to be broken from the start: irredeemable. 

I would be remiss not to bring this into the context of our president. Do I have to fucking say it? “Grab her by the pussy,” while profoundly memeable, is evidence of this dehumanization starting from the vagina, as a non actionable organ, one that is to be conquered. It follows that those with vaginas are naturally seen as non-acting parties as well, as we do not have the organ necessary to participate in conquest, and harm. It is not laughable, or permissible, to let these verbal transgressions slide. The way that men view women, unfortunately, starts at the vagina and ripples out to our humanity. If you are listening, the men of power in our country have already told you more than enough about how they think of you. You are a wound to be fucked, you are a non-thing. 

The only answer to these accusations is very clear to me: Lesbian sex. Girl on girl stuff is the best way to reclaim your own bodily autonomy outside of the context of patriarchy. No one loves your vagina more than a raging stone dyke who eats pussy like their life depends on it. In this light you will love it too, and be free from the constructs of Freud and his evil ilk. Freud literally could not account for lesbians, he was entirely confounded by them. So please, enjoy lesbian sex, and feel as human as you deserve.